If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
From Fran Lebowitz
My favorite animal is steak.
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
4 perspectives
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2 perspectives