America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.
From John Barrymore
The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.
If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.
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