Author

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.

I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.

The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Well, I always think the worst things are going to happen here, because I'm - basically inside, I'm a bad person, and so the bad kind of takes over.

My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.

Larry David