The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd better plant some bruises first. A master apologizer has to be a Lord Byron, a Rick in Casablanca, a Lee Atwater, anyway.
From P. J. O'Rourke
Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching.
There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring.
In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes.
Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
It's better to make fun of yourself because you've always got someone around to make fun of, and they can't sue you.
Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics.
A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking.
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