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You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can.

Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.

The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.

From P. J. O'Rourke

The budget doesn't have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn't have much control over the budget.

From P. J. O'Rourke

Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that's when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past.

From P. J. O'Rourke

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

From P. J. O'Rourke

Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum.

From P. J. O'Rourke

Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned.

From P. J. O'Rourke

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.

From P. J. O'Rourke

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

From P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke

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