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There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty.

The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.

From P. J. O'Rourke

Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics.

From P. J. O'Rourke

Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box.

From P. J. O'Rourke

The most brilliant satire of all time was 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift. You'll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.

From P. J. O'Rourke

I am unboreable in the great outdoors.

From P. J. O'Rourke

Excessive speed and quantity are, like chattiness and digression, besetting sins of cyber-assisted authorship.

From P. J. O'Rourke

What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians - whatever those motives may be - is that politicians must announce their motives as visionary and grand.

From P. J. O'Rourke

A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny.

From P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke

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