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I am a Westerner of Westerners!

Westerns were always my favorite things when I was little. And it always bothered me when cowboys were too clean in movies, or when they wore their guns like they had an outfit on. It always worked better when a guy looked sweaty and smelly; I hadda believe, I hadda believe that.

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

I've lived places these guys can't defecate in.

I walk into rooms and I don't know why I'm there. I'm like, 'Why am I standing in front of the toilet now?'

I always wanted to do a Western.

When I do a Western, I often wonder what I would have really done in that situation.

Well, I don't use the toilet much to pee in. I almost always pee in the yard or the garden, because I like to pee on my estate.

As a wheelchair user, I am utterly obsessed with toilets, and all my friends know it. A simple invitation to the pub is consistently followed by, 'Do you know if they have an accessible toilet?'

People are always asking me why they don't make Westerns like they used to.