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I'm the guy who will eat something that looks nice when I'm out, but when I take it home in a doggie bag, it'll sit in the back of my refrigerator until it starts to move.

I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.

Coffee gives me bad breath.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

I've had to spend an awful lot of my life trying to pretend I'm not posh. Although once I open my mouth, I rather let things out the bag.

Morning breath is the worst.

I try to refrain from the alarmist statement, really I do. It's bad for the liver and worries the dog, who has plenty enough to worry about as it is.