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I'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me.

It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'

Being married is kind of like being a Ken-doll; you don't get to dress yourself anymore.

My wife's hip, beautiful and independent and never jealous.

My husband is actually the nicest guy in the world. He's my sweetheart and best friend, and one of the things I love best about him is that no matter how terrible I look - and believe me, it can get bad - he makes me feel pretty.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

After marriage, the other man's wife looks more beautiful.

I mean, I'm married first of all to one of, if not the most wonderful women in the world. She is everything - funny, attractive, hard-working, she has integrity, she loves me to bits.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.