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Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.

I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.

At my age, you sort of fart your way into a role.

I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.

At a certain point, you have to face the fact that you've turned into an old fart.

I always thought that farts were funny, and I always thought that they were mine to talk about because they came out of my body.

Fart jokes still work for me.

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.

I'm too old to be farting around with stuff that isn't precisely what I want to do.