My wife gets asked all the time, 'Ugh, how can you be married to that guy?' She's like, 'Hey, he's not yelling and screaming at me!'
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
OMG, I am a married woman!
The moment I was introduced to my wife, Emma, at a party I thought, here she is - and 20 minutes later I told her she ought to marry me. She thought I was as mad as a rat. She wouldn't even give me her telephone number - and she wrote in her diary: 'A funny little man asked me to marry him.'
My wife thinks I'm crazy.
Nobody makes me laugh like my wife.
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
My husband will tell you one of the most frequent questions he gets from world leaders is, 'How's your wife's garden?'
I've been married to the same woman for forty years, and whenever people ask us how we managed to stay married for so long, we usually say as one voice, 'What's the secret? Don't get divorced!'
My husband used to shout at my mother, 'What is wrong with your daughter? I'm married to a man.'