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Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I'm not trying to make headlines. I'm just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh.

I can't give a decent toast to save my life.

I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.

When you're doing stand-up, you can comment if something fails, get a laugh from that.

I'm too busy thinking what I'm going to say next to remember what I've said, but my staff tells me I'm sometimes funny. Not always on purpose, though.

People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life.

I always think any circumstances can be funny. Not that I'm irresponsible, but when things go wrong, I always come up with a joke or think of something funny to say.

I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because they don't know whether to laugh or not, and I love that comedy.