Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again.
From Chris Rock
If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money. They don't have insurance. People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.
Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.
I love being famous. It's almost like being white.
Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.
After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.
Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
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