School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
From Chris Rock
Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
Being with my kids is the best, most fun thing; it's a privilege.
I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.
A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
I have my own demons and dark moods. It's weird.
Every now and then I'm in a situation where someone doesn't recognize me, and I experience racism. Things like not being buzzed into a store or sitting in first class on a plane and having someone ask to see my ticket four times.
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