There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
From Chris Rock
I used to hang out with grandfather all the time because he used to pick me up from school sometimes, or drive me to my mother's, so I'd be with my grandfather a lot. I used to watch him write his sermons.
Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.
Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.
You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much.
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