Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
From Dave Attell
When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.
I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.
Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.
You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.
My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.
I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.
I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.
3 perspectives
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1 perspectives