Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
From George Carlin
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
3 perspectives
2 perspectives
1 perspectives