Les Dawson

Notable Quotes

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I'd like to thank the BBC for allowing me to work here. And I'd like to thank the wife and kids for making it necessary.

From Les Dawson

I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

From Les Dawson

I toyed with the idea of playing Ravel's 'Pavane pour une infante defunte' but I couldn't remember if it's a tune or Latin prescription for piles.

From Les Dawson

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

From Les Dawson

In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet.

From Les Dawson