Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy.
From Lewis Black
If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?'
When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.
You've got to be stupid to heckle me - I am very equipped to win.
Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny.
My parents were married for sixty-five years, and I was married for about ten minutes, my first year at Yale Drama School. Something, somehow, didn't get passed on to my generation.
The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope.
Most of the longer-term relationships I've known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer.
Usually I'm too tired to apologize.
You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.
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