I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send it offshore, and you'd have as much chance communicating with people.
From Lewis Black
Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it's a jigsaw of a blue sky. Not a cloud in sight.
I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet.
One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.
The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.
I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.
What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.
Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.
And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.
A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'
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