I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.
From Mitch Hedberg
Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
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