My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
From Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
The last thing I'd learn, well into my career, was how to get on, how to say hello, how to get in with the audience.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
3 perspectives
2 perspectives
1 perspectives