A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
From Robert Orben
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
3 perspectives
2 perspectives
1 perspectives