I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
From Will Rogers
You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
12 perspectives
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