Author

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Woody Allen