Author

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Woody Allen