I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.'
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.
I took pain pills to get to sleep because I didn't want to go to work the next day exhausted.
Once his wife goes to sleep it takes a minor nuclear explosion to wake her.
Every sleep doctor I've talked to said it was an urban legend that you shouldn't wake up a sleepwalker. All that will happen is that you will get condescended to.
If I feel in need of sleep, I just open a book or turn on the television. Both are better than any sleeping pill.
TV is my sleeping pill.
I wake when my wife wakes, at 7:30 A.M. I'd like to sleep longer, but she has to go off to work, and I'd be plagued with guilt.
Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other.
If your woman is asleep every time you get home, she's just really tired. Of you.