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I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the 'Boston Phoenix,' and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that's where I first saw 'deadpan.'

When I was doing comedy in New York, before I was in movies, I was never known as the deadpan actress. I was just a comedienne.

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

The thing that's funny is that everyone thinks I'm dead.

Knowledge is a polite word for dead but not buried imagination.

If the dead talk to you, you are a spiritualist; if God talks to you, you are a schizophrenic.

The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.

Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.

Alas, how quickly the gratitude owed to the dead flows off, how quick to be proved a deceiver.