If anyone at my funeral has a long face, I'll never speak to him again.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again!
Worldly faces never look so worldly as at a funeral. They have the same effect of grating incongruity as the sound of a coarse voice breaking the solemn silence of night.
If you don't go to other men's funerals, they won't go to yours.
I've a great fancy to see my own funeral afore I die.
I never go to funerals. To me a person is dead when he breathes for the last time. After that, your memories should be personal.
As soon as people see my face on a movie screen, they knew two things: first, I'm not going to get the girl, and second, I'll get a cheap funeral before the picture is over.
A man is known by his works. That I have heard at many a funeral.
When I die, I want it to say 'Short and Funny' on my tombstone.
You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.