I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
From Erma Bombeck
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Never have more children than you have car windows.
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
5 perspectives
4 perspectives
3 perspectives
1 perspectives