Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
From Erma Bombeck
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
God created man, but I could do better.
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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