When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
From Erma Bombeck
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
5 perspectives
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1 perspectives