Author

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

W. C. Fields