If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
From W. C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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