Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
From W. C. Fields
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
Never give a sucker an even break.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
I drink therefore I am.
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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