The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.
From Dave Barry
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
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