All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.
From Steven Wright
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
What a nice night for an evening.
It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that's not really needed does help the rhythm of it. It's a gut feeling.
I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
5 perspectives
4 perspectives
2 perspectives